The Art of Being ‘Stylish’
Some Thoughts on Trends, Style and Living a Life in the Clothes You Own.
Personal style is developed through trial and error, wear and tear and clothing character, which is something many people overlook these days when talking about creating a strong personal style and recognizable look. Many of us flock to fashion creators’ social media to see what trends we should be wearing for the coming season, what shoes to buy and where to shop to curate the ‘best items’ for our style. We think to ourselves, “When I buy those heeled boots or that chunky cable knit sweater my style will be complete”, when most of the time, we realize that the boots we saw on Kendall Jenner aren’t actually our thing and that cute knit sweater we saw on some fashion influencer we thought was going to be the essence of our fall wardrobe, never even made it out of the closet.
Many of us have been programmed to believe that we need to consume more to look more stylish, and even though the purchases themselves may not be ‘fast-fashion’ and quite sustainable, we still end up buying items we don’t need or that do not fit our lifestyles and so they end up looking inauthentic or forced when we put them on. So where lies the secret of authentic personal style? How does personal style come to be? And why is it that although we seem to be purchasing cool, unique pieces, we still feel wrong when we try and style them for ourselves?
The answer is actually simpler than you’d think. It turns out that most of them are already hanging in our wardrobes (pun fully intended). And that with overconsumption and overstimulation due to the vast and constant media exposure, we simply lose track of what we like, dislike and what works for us because we are not living a life in the clothes we have.
I recently came across a very interesting TikTok video from fashion creator @elliot_duprey, where he talked about personal style and how the most fashionable and stylish people aren’t always necessarily from the fashion field or industry. To put it in his words “to have a distinct and believable personal style you must live a life in your clothes”. The idea here is that the experiences you go through in your clothes, and the more you wear the clothes that you own already and truly do what you love in them, the more character they obtain. Maybe that is also why vintage and second-hand clothing has seen a rise over the last decade, because the clothes, shoes, and bags there have already had a life and have some kind of character to them. I mean a worn-in, used bag looks so much more authentic and interesting than a brand-new one in my opinion. This is not to hate on brand-new bags in any way, this is just to say that brand-new bags have a certain quality to them that makes them instantly recognizable as “just bought”. Imagine if you have a whole head-to-toe brand-new, never-worn outfit, the clothes have no essence or story to them. The outfit lacks a specific personality found in worn and lived-in clothing, making it seem less believable as a personal style.
In addition, many people (such as my grandma) believe that previously owned and worn clothes have an ‘energy’ or personality to them, that of the previous owner. This is why vintage pieces are so fascinating because the previous owner truly lived in those clothes and accessories, and as such the clothes have an authenticness to them - an indescribable essence. It’s like they have a certain story to them that makes them that much more interesting.
Maybe it’s one of the reasons I also loved getting hand-me-downs from my mum and grandma because even though I was giving the item a new chapter in its story while wearing it, it still held the ‘memories’ of the experiences my mum or grandmother had whilst wearing it.
Living in your clothes means going about your day in your clothes, letting them get worn and torn and mended. Allowing these clothes to develop their stories and (as Elliot so beautifully put it) patinas. Once you do, you’ll realize that your personal style, or who you truly are as a person is being reflected through what you wear, which is ultimately the goal here, because clothes are an extension of one’s self. You must let your clothing exist in the space that you build up, letting them mould to your lifestyle. So often we buy clothes nowadays because of the lifestyle or the aesthetic that they try to sell us. I mean, after all, fashion advertising (like all adverts) tries to not sell you the item, be it a bag or a coat or whatever, but the life you could potentially live when owning and wearing that specific product. These brands sell you a desired lifestyle by promoting a particular fashion aesthetic, such as “quiet luxury” which has risen in popularity over the recent years.
As Rian on TikTok (@thatadult) also mentions, fashion knowledge is all about outside knowledge. A person who has no technical knowledge of the world of fashion can give the most interesting opinion, outlook and critique on fashion because fashion is never about fashion itself. Fashion is about life and relationships between people and different cultures. Fashion is an expression, so it doesn’t make sense for fashion to be about clothes. “No one designs clothes just about fashion. They are designing about life, about nature, about romance, about fear, about anxieties, about interpersonal relationships, about their childhoods, about being bullied, about being loved and accepted, about being never accepted”. To understand fashion, in other words, one must understand the relationships in the world around them, one must understand the inspiration for the clothing, or what the message of clothing is, and what it relays. Fashion is a constant conversation with the world around it, and so to understand fashion, one must be conscious of the surroundings and the happenings of the world it is created in.
That being said, to round off this blog post, searching for your personal style in other people’s fashion or in fashion in general is setting yourself up for failure. You must look at the experiences of life that you live through, engage in culture and search in nature. Go directly to the inspiration sources for clothes, to find what you like and what you dislike. Go back to the basics and scan your own wardrobe, figure out what you like and why: is it the cut, the material, why it works or doesn’t work for you? Fashion is all about stories and narratives, and finding your personal style is a process as we grow into the person we are meant to become. It’s no coincidence that we say “to age like fine wine”. Style is a narrative that develops with time and maturity, as we slowly start to figure out who we are and what our story is.
This post was inspired by thoughts and ideas shared by creators @elliot_duprey and @thatadult on TikTok.
Thank you so much for reading!
*Disclaimer* All Photos not mine are given credit to the creator/owner/source. Photos which are mine will be described as such in the caption below the photo.
